15 Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts Ever

Love is in the air, except these gifts say anything but love. If you want to impress your sweetheart this Valentine’s Day you better stay away from these gift ideas…

When you think of Valentine’s Day gifts, flowers and chocolate might come to mind but what about GPS lingerie and a plush beating heart? Not your average Valentine’s Day gift but a sure way to show someone you are…well thinking of them? Sure gifts are good but sometimes its not the thought that counts but what you actually give that makes the lasting impression.

Check out the following 15 Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts Ever to see some of the most outrageous, ridiculous and quite hilarious gift ideas to probably stay away from giving your special someone this year.

1 – Make those Puppies Grow!

Guys if you really want to send your girlfriend a message this Valentine’s Day, why not give her a box of the F-Cup Cookies, which are supposed to help enlarge women’s breasts. Nothing quite says how disappointed you really are in your woman’s figure than handing her some of these tasty treats.
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2 – A Clean Slate

Nothing is sweeter than buying your woman an at-home bikini wax kit. What woman doesn’t want her man to passively tell her that she is apparently too hairy in those certain regions? Tell your lady to get busy with the hair removal and we are sure you will have one hell of a memorable Valentine’s Day.
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3 – I Want Candy!

Give the gift that will benefit you and your lover with a pair of edible underwear. Women give your man a gift you can enjoy with a candy made g-string so you can have him dress up this Valentine’s Day this year while you nibble on the goods.
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4 – Have You Seen My Woman?

You can have GPS in your car so why not have it on your girlfriend? Check out this GPS lingerie that goes for about $800, and allows you to keep tabs on your lady. After all you want to make sure she is wearing this lingerie for you, and for you only.

5 – “Eh That Was it?”

Ladies, if you want to really make your man feel inadequate, we are sure that the Erectile Quality Monitor will surely suffice. This handy monitor will help a man know just how happy or unsatisfied his woman is with the way things are going in the bedroom. Forget the fluff this Valentine’s Day and instead just be honest, or at least have a device that is for you.
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6 – Too Much Time Spent Together

Well, of course you want to spend time with your sweetie on Valentine’s Day but putting in a two person toilet might just be a little over the top. It’s one thing to leave the door open when you pee but taking a number two side by side is quite another. There’s nothing like quality time on the john.
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7 – Measure Your Love in Kisses (and Bad Breath!)

No one likes to kiss someone who has bad breath and now you can measure just how rank the breath and the kiss will be with the Halitosis Kiss Meter. This nifty little device will help rate how bad the person’s breath is so you don’t have to worry about going in for the kill that will really kill the mood.
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8 – Shine On!

While other guys might be getting their ladies some skimpy lingerie for Valentine’s Day, you will be giving the gift that will glow in the Light Up Bra. Yes, this hot little creation will light up your woman’s chest to enhance what she has while allowing you to keep your eyes on the prize.
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9 – Clean Up Act

The best way to your lover’s heart is through good hygiene? Nothing says love quite like heart printed toilet paper. Get this for your Valentine this year to show your love and ensure that their bottom is always clean and full of love.
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10 – Hand in Hand

Show your sweetie your not afraid of looking like a complete goon with her by getting the giant Hand Hugger. This terrible “smitten mitten” will be able to hold both your hand and hers while the two of you embarrassingly walk down the street. We can’t guarantee she will actually wear it with you.
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11 – Put a Ring on it

Guys if your girl has been hinting on getting a ring this Valentine’s Day, then why not surprise her with one she will never forget? The Fred 2-Carat Ring Mug is the perfect alternative for a man who wants to give the gift she wants but isn’t ready for the full commitment a real diamond ring brings. Now she can have her coffee while looking at a diamond she probably will never get.
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12 – “Baby, Can We Snuggle?”

Now you can give your woman all the cuddling she wants with the Boyfriend Pillow. Going to be out late this weekend with the boys? No worries. Give your woman this pillow and tell her not to wait up. We’re sure she won’t even notice when you come home spelling of booze and wearing glitter on her face.
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13 – My Heart Only Beats For You

Men love giving women stuffed toys for Valentine’s Day so we are sure that the Anatomically Correct Plush Beating Heart will be a bonafide hit. While a chocolate heart is nice, it’s nothing like a pulsating one that looks and acts like the real thing. Now that’s love.
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14 – Pass the Remote

Hey ladies, if you’re tired of your man not listening or just saying the wrong things, why not control what he says and does? Yes, that’s right. With the Control Your Man Talking Remote you can press a button to get your guy to do just about what you want. However, we think you might end up just pressing useless buttons while your man simply sits and stares at the TV, but hey give it a shot.
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15 – Shot in the Heart

It’s a stick up, for love. Shoot your lover with heart felt message with the Hot Shot Disc Shooter Valentine’s Day Love Message Toy. A man of few words? Well, this is for sure the best gift for you to give this year. No need to say anything, just point and shoot and the Hot Shot Disc will say it all.
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